Not too long ago, there were ninety days until I was moving, then there were eighty five, and now we’re down to seventy four.
Waiting for the first day of September is like an eternity, and my life seems to be put on hold for a while.
I guess it’s all a process.
I have a lot more time to think, almost too much.
My life is changing.
People around me are changing.
But what I notice the most, is that I’m changing.
I keep going over my values, what I stand for, what I believe in.
The people who were there for me when I needed them.
What I want to be, who I want to be.
My family, or at least what’s left of it.
And what’s really weird, is that I sometimes feel like I’m standing still, not going anywhere.
Like I said, my life seems to be put on hold for a while.
It actually feels like I’m not here, that I might as well be dead.
And that’s when I realize.
I need this.
I can’t live here anymore.
I’m not getting anywhere if I do.
I need to change.